Chefs as Charcuterie: Top Tummies of the Food World

Happy foodies are hefty foodies: The joy is in the jowels

1) Mario Batali:A long, sloping scoop of an avoirdupois. Encased by his fleece vest, a sort of hairnet for the belly, this front porch is a wondrous creation. Fernand Point’s Pyramide rises again.

2) Emeril Lagasse: Yes, he corsets the belly on television, but he clearly cossets it off the air. With this well earned, well-marbled roulade of a fat sweater, there’s no denying the evidence that Emeril indeed spends vast amounts of time in his restaurants.

3) Tim Zagat: A Brooks Brothers belly. Low and centered like a late term multiple pregnancy. This is a Roaring Twenties tummy, a spats, top hat, New Yorker cartoon-type tumescence. Testimony to years of self-disciplined indulgence.

4) Rachel Ray: Yes, a pork butt not a pork belly, but Ray’s pork booty is a glorious example of the shapely shaping powers of nature’s insulator.

5) Danny Meyer (the phantom belly): Highly suspicious absence of a belly, not even a shadow of a hint of a suggestion of a buddha. Even more dubious given that he admits to patronizing the Husky Section of Famous-Barr in his younger years. Clearly a Dorian Gray pact was signed. Perhaps a Botero sculpture of the real Danny hides in the walk-ins at Blue Smoke?

Phantom Belly, Honorable Mention: Unnatural forces are at work here, else these ectomorphs would look like Bibendum.

Al Roker and Drew Nieporent: Bariatric surgery.
Anthony Bourdain: Disciplined tobacco dieter.
Bobby Flay: Gynaecomastic, but no belly.

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