Top 5 Foodie Destinations of Yorkville (Sadly, there are only 3)

1) Glaser’s: Butter and sugar generously but judiciously applied as God, if he were a German hausfrau, would intend it. Black and White cookies of exceptional quality. Fun to watch the white part change colors with the seasons (Halloween orange, St. Patrick’s Day green, etc.) Best item is the lace cookie (dark chocolate or white plus an assortment of heart cloggers to make up the crunch skeleton). This seasonal item travels well in the winter months and works great for a last minute gift to bring to a dinner party.

Poppy seed horseshoes are another favorite.

N.B. This is not a Viennese pastry shop. Aesthetics are definitely secondary to rich, homey taste. The proprietors own the building and do things their way in their own time, with great results. Best place to buy a pie if you want to pretend you made it at home. People will believe you until the third bite when genius settles in on the tongue.

2) Schaller&Weber: Masters of pork fat well before the Food Network Fueled Golden Age of the Pig. Butchers give a generous weight on the scale and know enough to steer neophyte chefs, house-spouses, etc. towards the right methods and most forgiving cuts.

3) Orwasher’s: Unbelievable rye bread. Best in the city. Long list of savory and sweet breads, including a dense, deep pumpernickel. Counter-women on weekdays are unbelievably charming: one has dreds, endless smiles, and unplaceable accent; another is a benevolent East European grandmother type. Samples of new breads (whole wheat cranberry recently) are always available.  Also great for raspberry jelly chanukah doughnuts.  Black and white  cookies aren’t in Glaser’s league, but they’ll do in a pinch.

And then there were three. Not making the cut…

Heidelberg: Ancient restaurant with great tradition behind it still manages to blow it with pricey sloppy food. Subpar mustard, in a place where fat and mustard should be coupling in full fervor, is unforgivable.

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